Feelings are like Fashion
by Whatisitgoingtotake
Summary: Helga struggles as she realizes she has special feelings for Rhonda. She deals with life at home, as well. Set in grade school, like the show. A HelgaxRhonda. My first Hey Arnold fanfiction. Rated M for later chapters relating to violence and suicidal behavior.
1. Oops

Stupid Bob with his dumb, stupid belt. For Pete's sake, it was just an ugly, stupid belt! What was so great about that thing! All the diamonds on there were fake and the thing was crazy stretched out. And anyway, it's not like I meant to get hot sauce on it. It's HIS fault for leaving it on the table while I was eating breakfast, which I had to make myself using what little food Mirium had for us in the fridge. I don't know, maybe it was her fault for only giving me the option of taco shells and hot sauce to eat for breakfast. Even if I meant to do it on purpose, I defiantly didn't deserve to get slapped across the face. It didn't leave a mark or anything, but it sure as heck did sting for a while.

I stomped my way through the halls of the school loudly and obnoxiously, making it clearly visible that I didn't want anyone to approach me or get in my way. I was already too mad about this morning and I didn't want to have to snap at someone and accidentally take my anger out on them. I gave nasty scowls to anyone I walked past, too, just to make the message crystal as day. Stay away. I approached my locker and fiercely put in my locker combination, then harshly swung the door of it open, earning a loud *Chink* as it made contact with another locker next to it. I grabbed my books and slammed the door shut. Gosh, it's been a while since I've been this mad. As I was about to make way for class, I heard my name being called by a gentle, female voice.

"Helga! Wait up, please!" I stopped and turned around to see Phoebe running towards me. Phoebe! She always makes me feel better! She could almost literally say anything to me and make me happier. I guess it was just the fact that she was my only friend and wasn't afraid of me. Then again, it's easy to understand why everyone else was afraid of me. I was mean, but only so nobody asked me about my home life. I didn't want anyone to feel pity for me. I could handle myself. Just as long as I had one person to let out all my worries at. Said person being Phoebe, the only one who took a chance with me when we were in first grade.

"Hey Pheebs. What's up." She came up to me and bent down to grab her knees, panting. "Sheesh Phoebe. You only ran down the hall. You need to get out more."

"Well, if I did that, Helga, I would be using up time that I could be using for studying." She gave her nerdy reply through smaller pants as she cooled down.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Anyways, did you need to tell me something or did you just want to walk to class together." I smiled at her so she understood that what I said wasn't intended to sound mean. I turned my body to signal to her that I was going to start walking and she came to my side, and we started together.

"Actually, I mostly needed to tell you something. More like ask, I suppose. I was kind of curious as to how far you got on the writing portion of our project."

"Don't be such a worry-puss. I got it done, just like I said I would. I got it right here." I pulled the papers out of my dress top and handed them to Phoebe. Our project was about friendship, because Mr. Simmons thought it was a good idea for everyone to reach down deep and think hard about what it meant to each of us. He assigned us in groups of two, and thankfully, I got Pheebs. I just jotted down some stuff that sounded like cheesy barf, but I knew it would get an A.

"I must say I'm impressed, Helga. Five pages, and they're all beautifully written."

We approached the door to PS 118. Before entering, I looked down at my speed reader of a friend. "Eh, it was no skin off my bones. You had the hard part of doing the stupid worksheets he gave out."

We entered and separated, taking different routes to our seats. It appeared that everyone was already in here except our teacher.

I sat down in my seat with a huff. It only took a minute for my bad mood to completely resurface. I dropped my books onto my desk and opened the one on top. It was a social studies book. I ripped out one of those blank pages from the front and wadded it up to relieve some of the anger and then got an idea. With the paper wad crumpled up in my left hand, I leaned partially from my seat so I could look past in front of me. There. Target acquired. I focussed all of my energy into staring at the golden blond hair of my crush. My beloved Arnold. The golden blond seemed to tilt, as if it where about to turn my way. I pulled my arm back and threw. Direct hit.

Arnold turned all the way in his seat and gave me an annoyed grimace and turned back around. Part of my aggravation melted away in seeing his face. Oh, Arnold, if only you knew. If only you knew how much you and I were meant to be. But, of course, fait shall keep us apart forever. And if fait doesn't, I will. It hit me around two weeks ago that if I truly do like-like Arnold, I should just not even bother trying to be with him. (Not that I was really trying all that hard before.) It would be selfish to bring an angel like him into the hellish world I lived in. I already feel bad that Phoebe has to deal with me talking about what I go through, I wasn't going to bring Arnold along for the ride, too. My daydreams and fantasies of us as boyfriend and girlfriend would just have to suffice.

Mr. Simmons finally decided to show up, and he did so with a cheeky, over enthusiastic, grin. "Well, good morning class. It looks likes everyone's here. That's just wonderful. So, I figure we should begin class by presenting our written portions of last night's projects. We'll turn the worksheets in with them at the end. Let me write down attendance and then we can get started!"

... present? When on Earth did he mention presenting our crud yesterday? There was no way I was going to read what I wrote down to the whole class! A lot of that stuff was incredibly corny, and not something anyone would expect from me. I did a sort of half stand and looked across the room towards Phoebe. She glanced at me and gave me a frown and a knowing nod. She was going to read what I wrote and say she was responsible for it, along with the worksheets. Basically, I was letting myself get an F so I wouldn't have to share my writing. Not only that, but I was letting myself look like a bad friend who made my bestie do all the work. It was worth it to me. No one except Phoebe knew how I wrote. And I was keeping it that way. I suppose Mr. Simmons would have found out today, but looks like things changed so he wouldn't.

"Alright, class! I have the attendance done with. So, who wants to present first!" What an idiot. Nobody WANTS to present first. The room was silent for a couple of minutes as everyone looked around at each other to see who would snap first.

"Come on Sid. We can go."

"Aaarnold! Ugh, fine!" Arnold and Sid stood and headed to the front of the class, each holding papers. Everyone else seemed to give out a relieved breath at the same time.

"Alright! Thank you Arnold and Sid for volunteering. Now, tell the class who did what and then one of you begin to read the written part."

"Well, I did the worksheets and Arnold did the writing."

"Yeah, what Sid said. So, I'll read what I wrote now I guess. Alright, here I go... Friendship. To me, friendship is being nice to who you consider your friends. It's willing to help out whenever things get sticky. It's being - ..."

I listened with attentiveness as Arnold spoke. It was all a bunch of generic goodie-two-shoes stuff, but he managed to make it sound beautiful. When all was said and done, everyone except me clapped. I mean, I did clap, but I did it mentally.

After a couple more groups went up and sputtered there own generic crap, it was my groups turn. Me and Phoebe made our way to the front for our turn. I spoke up first. "Pheobe did the worksheets and the written portion all by herself. I didn't do squat." The class immediately glared at me as if I was Satan. I shrugged it off. What I said just now did sound kinda terrible. Oh well. Phoebe cleared her throat.

"Right, so um, I'll begin reading now. I have five pages here, so bare with me fellow classmates. Friendship. Friendship is, in a way, just another form of love. A less intimate form, and a slightly less loyal bound one. However, it will have it's intimate moments and it does require a certain amount of loyalty. Friendship is a non-written from of agreement that states: I will stand by your side through not just the bad, but the good. I will make time for you and make memories with you. And at any moment in time, this agreement could all end." Pheebs read everything out with perfect rhythm. Some of the girls in the class had teared up, and some of the guys had looks of awe. When she finished, everyone gave a standing ovation and clapped loudly for her. I seemed to be the only who noticed that she was frowning the whole time she spoke. She was obviously upset that I didn't take credit for my own work.

Mr. Simmons came up behind us and placed a hand on Phoebe's shoulder. "Phoebe, that was absolutely amazing! I, there are just no words I have. That was simply astounding. An A plus without a doubt. And Helga, all I can say is, I'm ashamed that you didn't do anything. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to give you an F."

"Woopdi Do." He took the papers and we sat back down. It was almost lunch and one last group was up. Rhonda and Gerald. As Rhonda passed me making her way to the front, I gave her an especially nasty look. I don't know why, but lately, there's just been something about her that makes me want to just scream at her. Maybe I would later today. I still had some angry in me from this morning that I could let out. I would maybe say something to her about how snobby she was. I don't know.

When I gave her that look, she just hmphed and did that prissy little nose in the air thing she always does. Jeez, what a bitch. She and Gerald stood before the class. "Mkay, Miss Rhonda here did the writing part, and I did the worksheets."

"Indeed. Now, I'll read. Of course, it won't measure up to what Phoebe had, but here's what I have. Friendship. Friendship is like fashion. It's totally big, crazy, and necessary for survival. If you don't have it, you might as well be rags. Friendship is colorful, like a wardrobe. There's reds and greens and everything. It's in, and it's out. And sometimes, it's unexpected, like random trends that pop out of nowhere. Friendship is expensive, like clothes. It doesn't just come free. There. That's everything I wrote." I had to admit, it was original and kind of interesting, what she wrote. Still was going to yell at her later though.

"Rhonda, that was, certainly interesting. Everyone, give Rhonda a round of applause and then get ready for lunch." Everyone gave some claps, clearly unimpressed with what she wrote. Wierd, it was actually pretty good. These dopes don't know good and original unless it's intricate and complex. Everyone stirred and moved around to prepare for lunch. I didn't.

I didn't really have time to pack a lunch, what with Bob barking at me and all. Even if I did have time, there was nothing to pack. After I get home from school today, I'll probably grab some money from Miriam's purse and do some grocery shopping. I've done it before on a couple of occasions. The bell rang and the room emptied It's students in seconds, leaving me behind. Even Pheebs ran out, crazed with a desire to eat I assume. I sighed and slumped out of my chair and trudged towards the door. I could roam the halls for a bit to pass the time. I didn't have money in my lunch account, either, so I was going to have to go without. Right before I left the room, I heard Mr. Simmons voice. "Helga, I'm surprised you didn't do any of the assignment." I turned my head to see a concerned look on my teacher's face. "You've never not turned in an assignment before. Any reason you didn't today?"

"Nope." I gave him my simple response and exited into the hallway. I didn't get too far when I noticed someone sitting up against a wall, not in the lunchroom, reading a magazine. I approached to see who it was. It was a fashion magazine, and it was Rhonda.

"Hey, Rhonda, watcha ya reading there. It must be really stimulating." I spoke in a rather unpleasant, sarcastic tone.

"I'll have you know, it's the new addition of Trend Weekly, and it is very stimulating. YOU just wouldn't understand. Mongrel."

"Whatever, Lloyd. So watcha doin' out here. Shouldn't you be eating? Or are you too good for that, too?"

"I'll have you know, I'm not eating because I need to lose weight. Anyways, shouldn't YOU be eating."

"That's non of your business. And lose weight?! Your already practically a walking pencil! What do you need to lose weight for?"

"Hmph." There she goes with the nose thing again. "I suppose that it's not your concern. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to the lady's room." She gathered herself from the floor and dusted off nothing from her pants and left for the restroom. I continued my walk.

I paused at the lunchroom doorways and peered inside to see what special I would be missing today. I also made a mental note to myself that I totally didn't really yell at Rhonda. Oops. I scanned around and found someone with a tray. Looks like meatball sub. Darn, I loved that stuff. I scanned around some more and locked my eyes onto the table in back, where Arnold was sitting. With Lila. I dropped my head and my shoulders and continued on my way. I shouldn't have felt so bad considering I basically had given up on him.


	2. A Subconscious Desire

"That's going to be $45.67." Wow, this guy just looks and sounds like he 'loves' his job. I pulled out a fifety from the upper half of my dress and handed the zit covered adolescent the bill. He gave me a skeptical look and held the money up into the light.

"Hey you walking ball of hormones, the stuff's real, okay." He took the cash into the machine after another moment of checking it's authenticity. He mumbled some incoherent words under his breath and handed me my change.

"Here, $4.33 is your change." A thin, white sheet printed out next to the cash register, and the cashier tore it off and handed me that, too. "And here's a coupon for five bucks off your next purchase of twenty-five dollars or more. Please, don't come again." It was my turn to mumble inaudible words as I grabbed my bags off the counter at the end of the conveyer belt. I exited the store with all five bags twisted around my wrists and fingers. I was glad that nobody else was in the store to possibly question what I was doing there.

As I was going home, my hands started hurting from the weight of the groceries, so I took a break and sat down at a bench, half way home. I set the bags on the ground by my feet and shook out my hands. I wonder how bad I'll get snapped at for going out after sneaking my mom's money to buy food. It's Miriam's fault for forgetting to get stuff. The last time I snuck out for groceries, my parents accused me of spending the money on candy, even though it was obvious I didn't. They'll probably accuse me of it again and lock me in the attic for a while or something completely uncalled for.

I sat at the bench for a couple of hours, just staring into nothingness and wondering about what my punishment was going to be. I blinked a couple of times as my eyes adjusted to less light. Nighttime was slowly approaching. "Guess that's enough of a break." I grabbed the groceries and began for home again. In my peripheral vision, as the bags swayed at my sides, I could see a couple of the cans I had purchased. The corn and the yams. Shaking my head, I snickered to myself. "Maybe tommorow at lunch I'll find Rhonda and force some yams into her mouth. Ha! She'd probably have a fit scraping it off her tounge to avoid the calories." I didn't really even understand why she wanted to lose weight, she really was already super thin. As the thoughts of me shoving food down in her rejecting mouth filled my head, I didn't even realize that I was standing at the door of my house. I almost ran face first into it.

Taking in a deep breath and clearing my thoughts of Rhonda, I opened the door. I stepped in and cautiously closed it behind me. I listened carefully for any sounds and heard nothing. Maybe they weren't home and maybe they won't notice what I did. Before relief could completely consume me, disappointment flooded over fast. "Helga! Where on Earth have you been?! And what for crying out loud is all that!?" Bob came down the stairs with steam practically venting from his ears. Life just loves giving me false hope. Masking my fear with a dirty look, I boomed back.

"It's food, Bob. Ya know, the stuff you guys are supposed to buy for me so I don't starve."

He was towering over me now. "So what, did you steal it?!"

"No, I bought it. Here, you can put this in mom's purse." I fiddled around in one of the bags and pulled out the change. I extended my hand out so Bob could take it.

"Where'd you get the money ..." He snatched up the change and shoved it in his pocket.

"Miriam's purse. Where else."

Suddenly I was in the air gasping for breath, with a big meaty hand wrapped around my neck. "You little punk! That was the money I was going to use to get my belt cleaned! The belt that you ruined!"

I couldn't respond, all I could do was flail my legs.

He wanted a response, so he released his grip and let me fall to the floor. "I had to buy *gasp* food so I could eat you know! *cough* You guys might be able to go drive off and get all the fast food you want, but I can't."

"Get your keester out of this house. You find someplace else to sleep tonight." He turned away in disgust. God, I hate him. I left the bags on the floor and slammed the door on my way out. Asshole.

I stormed down the sidewalk heading towards Phoebe's place. My angry stomping progressively turning into forceful feet dragging. I hated showing up to her house unexpectedly like this. This wasn't the first time my dad has kicked me out of the house. I didn't want to interrupt whatever happy family time she was having, or whatever studying she might be doing, but I wasn't just going to go sleep in an alleyway either. I started feeling really bad as I got closer and closer to her house. I really didn't want to do this. She was going to instantly know why I showed up, stop everything, listen to me complain all about Bob, and let me stay over. Tears started peaking at the edges of my eyes. I shut my eyelids tight for a moment so they wouldn't fall.

You know what. It wasn't fair that Phoebe had to deal with my garbage. If I was willing to give up Arnold so he wouldn't have to deal with my issues, than I should be willing to spare my best friend of my nonsense, too. Today is going to be the day I stop pouring out all my troubles on Phoebe. I'd find another way to cope. Bob punished me, not her.

I came up to Phoebe's front door and gave a stern knocking. She answered. "Helga? Oh my. Come on in right away." She opened the door wide and signaled me inside. Like a trained servant girl, she was already preparing to wait on me with kind questions and honest listening. "Let's go up to my room. My parents are out, but they wouldn't mind you spending the night I don't think. I was just doing some light reading."

"Thanks Pheebs." We made our way up the stairs silently and into her room. When we got up there I broke the silence. "Just so you know, I'm not here because of any home problems. I just thought it would be cool to hang out and maybe walk to school together in the morning."

She looked at me with wide eyes and smiled. "Really? Well, that's very sweet Helga. Of course we can hang out."

Later on, Pheeb's parents came home and gave the official okay for me to stay over. We spent most of the night sleeping in her bed after talking about how cool it would be to live in world without any boys. I brought up how stupid most boys seemed and that without 'em, the world would be smarter. We both agreed that boys were also way hard to understand, and that things would be clearer. Phoebe said something about how the world would be more peaceful. I put in a couple of statements about how maybe some girls could be lived without, too. Because some girls can be confusing as well. When her alarm went off to signal us to wake up, I stretched and yawned with pleased sounds. Sleeping at Phoebe's was always so tension free. She sat up in her bed like a robot and proceeded to get ready for school.

"Morning Helga. Did you sleep well."

"Like a baby. Say, uh, Phoebe, would it be okay if we stopped by my place on the way to school. I kinda forgot to grab some clothes." My parents wouldn't deny me fresh clothes if I brought a friend with me.

"Not a problem. We can get going after I change really fast." She rustled through her dresser and found and outfit to get dressed into. She went into her bedroom's bathroom and shut the door so she could change in privacy. While she did that, I observed the room. There were a few photos of her and her parents hanging on the walls. All of them had her in them. I don't think any of the photos in my house had me in them. Plenty of them had Olga in them, though. On the dresser, there were paintings she did in kindergarten. They didn't really look like anything, but it was cool that she kept them. I remember that most of the paintings I did in kindergarten had yellow. Yellow was the closest color to blond.

In kindergarten, Phoebe and I weren't exactly friends yet. I imagine that she was too afraid of me. I'm glad she mustered up the courage to ask to be friends the next year. I think she saw through my mean and knew that, deep down, I was kind. I said yes to her wanting to be friends, only because I was shocked that someone so quiet was able to have the guts to talk to me. I'm glad I said yes.

Light from the bathroom seeped into the room as my friend came out. "Alright, I'll grab my supplies and then, shall we proceed to your place?"

We went downstairs, said bye to her parents, and went to my house. My dad answered the door, and let us in. "You and your friend be quick. I don't want a call from the school saying that you was late little missy." We ran up to my room, and I got dressed into my signature dress and bow fast, then we headed for school. The walk to school consisted of Phoebe talking about some new discovery in medicine or something, and me pretending to listen. I was going over what happened last night in my head. I ran it over three times before we reached the school, and tens more times during school before lunch. When the bell rang for lunch, everyone ran out of the room like crazed lions. Except me. I forgot to grab something to eat. Hurray. Day two of wondering the halls.

I stepped out of the classroom and followed the same route I did yesterday. I was completely in another dimension within my mind as I roamed, until a noise brought me back into reality. *Wrrr.* Straight down the hall, in the same place as before, was Rhonda. Was that her stomach growling? Or was that mine ... I approached her much like I had the previous day. "Are you seriously not eating again? I don't know why you think you need to lose anything. Pencil." The insult came out harsh.

"Can it peasant! Your the one with a growling stomach. Speaking of can, why on EARTH have you been holding that with you all day." She looked up from the trendy crap magazine she was reading (again) and made a snide gesture at my right hand. I followed her gaze and my jaw practically hit the floor. Why in the what was I holding canned yams? How long had I been holding these? When did I even grab this?

"I, uh, like yams, okay?" I brushed by and dropped the can in her lap.

"Excuse me! What am I supposed to do with THIS!?" I was pretty far down the hall when I shouted back to her.

"Eat them!"

I came to a halt after turning a corner into the third/second grade wing. What the heck was all that?! I needed an asprin.

* * *

><p>Sorry if things seemed rushed. I don't have loads of time to write, so I have to hurry when I do.<p> 


	3. Subconscious Desire part 2 (After Lunch)

Sorry it took a while for this chapter. Life.

* * *

><p>"Mmkay, so now class, I'm going to place you in groupings of four so you can work on our World War One posters." How thrilling. I rolled my eyes, hating the idea of having to work together with other people. The last assignment we did, I was with Phoebe, so I definitely wasn't going to have the pleasure of being put in a group with her this time around.<p>

"The first group will consist of Harold, Gerald, Phoebe, and Curly. The sec-"

"Aww! But I'd much rather work with my dear, sweet Rhonda! I didn't get to last time, can't we be together now?!"

"Curly, stop calling me your 'dear sweet Rhonda.'" Gosh, what a dope. Rhonda was a total female dog, but I kind of felt sorry for her. I'd totally go insane if I had a bafoon like Curly on me all the time. I mean, Brainy was all over me, but at least he was quiet. Maybe that's why she was trying to lose weight. As I recall, Curly liked his girls with a bit of curve. Something about how they looked more sophisticated in dinnerware with curves.

"Sorry Curly, but I'm putting you with Harold, Phoebe, and Gerald."

"Curses!" Little weirdo. I looked over to where Rhonda was sitting and noticed a glob of orange near the corner of her mouth. Good, she ate them. I stared a little longer at her, but I don't know why.

"Helga. Helga!" I shook my head and looked up, forcing myself out of the daze I had set into.

"Huh?! What?" I saw that Naedeen, Eugenie, and Arnold were surrounding me. Arnold spoke up in his soft, angelic ...NO! He just spoke up in a regular tone!

"Helga, we're partners ... the three of us." We, what, .. Oh come on universe! You put Arnold in my group?! I'm supposed to be letting him go! Kinda hard to do if we have to communicate!

"Wonderful, football head. So, where we sittin'?" My stomach starting feeling really full suddenly, which was strange considering I hadn't eaten anything for lunch.

"Let's go sit at the corner table back there. I'll grab the paints. Do you think you could grab the posterboard, Helga?"

"I don't know, football head. Let's see." I stood up and did a couple of walking in place motions. "Well, it appears my ability to walk and go retrieve stuff is still here, so yes, I can go get the posterboard."

"Stop being mean and sarcastic and just go get the posterboard!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

I walked over to get the boards while my group went over to the table. Stupid Arnold. With his stupid, blond, golden, ... NO! I GAVE UP ON HIM! I grabbed the stuff and stomped over to my group. I sat down harshly and slammed the posterboard on the table. "There." Eugene and Naedeen looked at each other with fear on their expressions. Arnold just gave that dumb 'whatever' look.

"Thanks, Helga. Anyway, I got the paint." He made a gesture at the paint before us on the table. "I picked out brown, red, orange, blue, white, green, and yellow." Did he want a medal?

"Awesome! Can me a Eugene paint a sky and a flag?!"

"Sure. Helga, what do you want to add to the poster?"

Absolutely nothing. "I want to paint a graveyard with tombstones that have, like, sentimental stuff on it."

"Doesn't that seem a little, I don't know, depressing? I think the poster should be more upbeat." Who made him the boss?!

"Well, Arnold-o, I want the poster to be kind of sad. This IS about a war. We won it and all, but it wasn't exactly a wonderful experience. People died, families were torn apart, and lots of other bad stuff." Plus, my idea seemed more original and creative compared to everyone else's ideas. I did 360 and saw everyone painting happy faces saluting flags. Yeah, 'cause EVERYONE was happy with ALL the outcomes of the war.

"Well, Helga, I'd rather we didn-"

"Hey, Football stadium cranium! Why can't we go with my idea!?" I didn't realize that I was now standing up and shoving my face into Arnold's. Oops.

"What is wrong with you! Your so irritating! You didn't need to yell at me! I'm so glad other people, like Lila, aren't like you!" The room got dead silent.

... Did, did he just say what I think he just said? No. No way ... but, he did. Woah, I guess he finally snapped. I could feel people's gazes on me. What did I do? He was the one who wouldn't go with my idea! I mean, I didn't mean to get so mad!

"C-class. Let's all please resume painting. Helga and Arnold, please come out with me to the hallway." Great. Now I was in trouble. They better not call home about this. That would suck so bad. We, with tension between us, walked out into the hallway, following Mr. Simmons. He quietly shut the door behind us and gave us a dissatisfied frown, crossing his arms. "I would like an explanation to what those outbursts in class were." I opened my mouth to speak, but Arnold beat me to it.

"I wanted to make a cheerful, happy poster. Helga wanted a depressing one. Instead of simply expressing herself in a calm way, she got up a screamed at me. And, ... I screamed back."

"I see. Well, I don't feel that I need to report this to the principal if maybe you two apologize to each other." Apologize? For what?!

Arnold turned and faced me. "Helga, I'm really sorry I yelled at you. I just got mad that you yelled at me first. Can you forgive me?" The pleading look in his eyes almost melted my heart. Almost.

"Yeah, I forgive you. I'm sorry, too. Can we go back in now?" Mr. Simmons sighed and opened up the door for us to walk through.

"Now, no more outbursts from either of you, okay?"

I headed back to the table, but before I could even sit down all the way, a screech from Rhonda stopped me.

"Curly! Get your mitts off my shoulders! I do not need a messagé!"

"But you feel so tense dear!" Gosh, that freak!

"Hey ick factor, she said to get your paws off, so lay off!"

Curly slowly backed away from Rhonda. She brushed her shoulders and hmmphed. "Thank you Helga. Your demeanor has saved me." That didn't sound like a true thank you.

"Helga, what did I just say about outbursts in class!" What the heck! Rhonda yelled, too!

"Sorry Mr. Simmons! I promise, no more." And my promise was kept for the rest of the school day.

* * *

><p>The bus ride home was tough. Every bump the driver, seemingly purposely, drove over sent a quake through my head. I felt like cotton was shoved into my skull through my ears. I put the blame for my headache on Arnold and Rhonda.<p>

Arnold with his stupid, cheerful, cliché idea and yelling. Rhonda with her, ... being, I guess.

I rubbed tiny circles over my temples and did some deep breathing. For the first time in a long time, I couldn't wait to get home. I needed some ibeprophine. I don't feel like me right now.

Suddenly, I felt weight on the other side of my seat. Who on Earth thought it a good idea to sit next to me? I turned to look and let out a sigh of relief. It was just Phoebe. "Pheebs, thank gosh. What's up?" Please say something that will distract me from the pain in my head.

"I noticed that you looked stressed. Is there something wrong, Helga?" Darn.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just, uh, the thing with Arnold earlier is still bothering me." I was not gonna tell her about the other person causing my head discomfort.

"Did you apologize?" That's not why it's bothering me,.. huh, why does she always assume I need to apologize to people to solve my problems?

"Yeah, I apologized. I'll talk about it later." I peered forward and saw the familiar environment that was my bus stop. "I gotta go. I'll call ya." I didn't give Phoebe time to say bye back, and rushed off the bus and made a mad dash to my house. I really, really needed something for this headache. I ran up the steps and swung the door open, making a break for the medicine cabinet in the kitchen.

"What!? Where's all the medicine?!" Crud! Miriam must have ran out of her 'personal' meds and used the ones from the cabinet! I clutched the side of my head as a huge boom of ache pulsed through. I made slow movements to the other side of the kitchen to check the other cabinets, but halted half way there. Right by the sink was one of Miriam's unfinished smoothies. That's where she puts her medication. I bet this one was used with the stuff from our cabinet. It probably had something for my headache in there. With little logic in my brain, I launched for the drink and chugged it down.

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><p>Again, it's fast paced. Sorry. If I didn't update now though, I don't know when the next time I'd be able to would be.<p> 


	4. A Little Confrontation

Sorry it took so long. I procrastinate and get lazy.

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><p>I've been feeling pretty great lately. A couple of weeks ago, I tried one of Miriam's smoothies, and it was the best decision of my life. She makes about ten of them every day, but only drinks about half from each glass. Whatever she doesn't finish from each glass, I sneak. Those things are amazing. Whenever I'm feeling cruddy, all I got to do is have a drink and everything becomes a little calmer. I was guessing it was the 'medication' she puts in that did it. Whatever it was, it was great. I usually have them after school, but today I woke up and felt terribly groggy, so I decided I would have one before school.<p>

I tip-toed into the kitchen from my room and made my way to the sink. I looked in and smiled. Heck yeah! Strawberry-banana, my favorite flavor. I could tell what it was based on the pink tint of the slush and the yellow bits mixed in. I grabbed it and glanced around to make sure no one was looking. I had no doubt I'd get punished if I was ever caught doing this. No one was around, so a gulped it down. I set the glass back into the sink, grabbed a packet of crackers, and headed out for school. It would take about ten minutes for the calm to kick in.

The bus ride to the school seemed to go slower than usual, but it didn't bother me too much because once I got to school, everything seemed to go quicker. Plus, I had started to feel really loose. Today was going to be a good day at school. Well, for at least an hour or two of it anyway.

The morning during class, before lunch, was wonderful. I felt relaxed, at ease, the teacher never called on me, and so far there were no dumb projects assigned. But, as lunch started, so did my ... I guess you would call it a crash. Everyone left in a hurry for the lunch room, but I didn't. I just walked around the halls again. It was starting to become a habit. I HAD brought crackers to eat, but I wanted to try and ease the headache I had gotten. It would go away in about 15 minutes, but it was really annoying. I guess I should've brought a back-up smoothie. I was rubbing my temples and moving as slow as possible when I suddenly paused. Meeting Rhonda near the lunchroom was also becoming a habit. I'd make fun of her, she give some snobby retort, and then take a pill. Recently, she's been taking pills for lunch. She said that her doctor prescribed them especially for her. I don't know what was in those pills, but maybe they'd have the same effect as the medicated smoothies.

I hurried to where I usually would find Rhonda; near to the lunchroom doors. There she was, reading her fashion crap. I approached her.

"How are attempting to insult me this time unibrow?" She didn't even look up from reading.

"Sush it toots. I'm not here to insult you this time."

"Then what ARE you here for?"

"Do you happen to have any of those pills on you? Those lunch supplements or whatever. ... Cause I forgot my lunch again and I figure I could have one of your whatevers." Like I was going to tell her the real reason why. She stopped reading and her face switched from snooty to a deer in headlights.

"Uhh, you can't have one." Why the hell not?

"Come on. Just one."

"I'm running out." If she was running low, she could always get more. She's like the richest person in the school.

"You can buy more. Just one."

"Um, there not something other people can have. They're just for me." Did it look like I cared?

"Come on. Just let me have ONE." I don't know why, but I was starting to get really mad, which wasn't helping at all with my headache.

"NO."

"Why!?" I was REALLY getting mad. It was kinda starting to scare me. But I almost couldn't help it.

"NO."

"Why?!"

"N-..."

I guess I snapped cause suddenly, we were wrestling each other on the ground, yelling at each other. I was trying to reach inside her pants pockets, where I knew she kept them.

"Give me one!"

"No, ... HEY!" Got 'em. While using my right arm to keep her pinned down and unable to efficiently grab at me, I used my left to hold the bottle. I squinted at it and spun around to see the label. I wonder if these tasted like food.

"Give them back!" ... these weren't food supplements ... these were weight loss pills. It was my turn to look like a deer in headlights. I slowly got off of her and helped her up.

"Give them to me." Yeah right.

"Rhonda, are you nuts? Your gonna end up looking like a starving African child if you keep this up!" I jammed the bottle in my pocket. I was going to throw them away later.

"ME CRAZY?! YOU just tackled me for my pills! You're the crazy one." She placed her hands on her hips like a sassy cassy. She had a point I guess. I really don't know what got into me. I attacked her for 'food supplements,' cause I wanted something to ease my headache. How in the heck would food supplements stop a headache? What logic was that? I really haven't been myself lately at all.

I was going to say something snappy back, but a boy's voice interrupted.

"What's going on here?" I turned my head to see Arnold standing there. When did he get here?

"What do you mean Football Head?"

"I heard yelling and came to check it out. Is everything okay?" He sounded very suspicious. Rhonda responded.

"Yes, yes. Everything is quite alright. Now, go back to eating with everyone else."

"... Hey, I've noticed something. You two haven't been in the lunchroom for weeks. Why's that?" Crud, he noticed. I wonder if he was worried about me ...

"Mind your own business." Rhonda had retorted back.

"Hey Rhonda! Don't be so prissy! He just asked a question!" I know I gave up on him, but I defended him anyway, cause well, I wasn't 100% over him yet, I guess.

"Yeah, Rhonda. I only asked a question."

"Hey Arnold! I just told her that! She doesn't need told twice!" I defended Rhonda. I don't know why. What I did know was that my headache had increased ten fold. I stomped away from the two and turned a corner, leaving them with confused expressions.

I rubbed my temples some more. So much for the headache vanishing within 15 minutes. As I walked, I uncapped the bottle that was in my pocket and popped a couple of pills in my mouth. Food supplements wouldn't stop a headache, but perhaps weight loss pills could? I guess I was going to find out. I needed SOMETHING to hold me off until I could get home to a smoothie. Even if they didn't work, putting something into my mouth made me feel a little relaxed. When I thought about, I WASN'T feeling so great lately.

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><p>When I got home, after an aggravating day of school, I went to the sink for a "drink." It was strawberry banana again, and it was great. What was even better was, today was a Friday, which meant no school tomorrow, which meant I could have more smoothies within the day.<p>

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><p>This chapter is face-paced. I apologize. There will be a part two with it with more detail and explanation. Stay tuned. Or not. I suppose you don't have to.<p> 


	5. The Foreshadowing: Confrontation part 2

"Miriam! Where's our stinking drinks!? How do you expect me and pa to watch a movie without any Yahoo?!"

"I'm, I'm just, I'm coming B, okay!? Just, uh, let me find it!"

This wasn't supposed to happen. This weekend was supposed to be relaxing, and a way to drown out Friday. My stupid grandpa wasn't supposed to be visiting. BUT, here he was, visiting. I was sitting on the floor, watching the dumb movie with them. Rocky, I think?

"Here B, and B's dad. I even put these cute little ice cubes in there. Would you look at that?" My mom nervously handed them the drinks.

"Bob, tell your wife no ice next time." My dad lazily waved a hand towards Miriam.

"No ice next time, kay." She turned around sluggishly. ... Where the heck was my drink? I asked for a Yahoo, too. I WANTED a smoothie, .. but that wasn't going to happen until later.

"Miriam!? Where's MY drink?" She turned and gave my a confused, dumb look.

"Your what? .. Oh! Um, It's in the oven dear." She walked off.

The oven?! What the hell was wrong with this women. I pushed myself off the floor and headed to the kitchen, grumbling to myself about how stupid my 'mom' was. I entered and made my way to the stove and proceeded to yank hard on the oven door handle. It was in there alright. As were some fudge cakes and salt and vinegar chips. Why was she so odd? I grabbed my drink and closed the door. And unfortunately also glanced towards the sink.

There was one RIGHT THERE. All I'd have to do is take it, take it and chug it before anyone could notice. It would be that easy, and it would make that movie much more bearable for sure. I could see from here that it was green, which meant that it was lime flavored. Not my favorite, but certainly not my least favorite. I looked back and forth between the front room where 'dad' and 'grandpa' were, and the sink. They were so focussed on that crap movie; there's no way they'd notice. And Miriam was probably upstairs doing who knows what. This could be my only chance for a while. But, if I got caught stealing something I wasn't supposed to, Bob would have a hissy-fit.

Take it; don't take it? Possibly get away with it; possibly get punished by Big Bob Pataki?

"Hey Dad! I'm going for a walk!" I stormed out of the kitchen and grabbed my pink jacket off the coat rack. No amount of whatever was in those things was worth a Big B punishment. I would just have to avoid the influence of it until I could get my hands on it later. A good long walk would hopefully do the trick.

"Huh!? Oh, whatever! Just be back in time to watch me beat my old man at arm wrestltng would ya?! We need an official witness and there's no way Miriam counts as official! She can barely remember how to make me sandwiches!"

"Yeah! Okay!" I slammed the door behind me and started my walk. The air out here was kinda nice. It almost soothed my headache. I realized last night that my headaches weren't going to ever completely go away, so I've decided to just try and deal with them. No use in whining about 'em. As I walked and enjoyed the calming atmosphere of a chilled Fall evening and quiet streets, I let my mind wander.

I wonder how long ago did Arnold notice I hadn't been showing up to lunch. I also was curious as to how Rhonda was doing for some reason. I reached inside my jacket pocket and felt the bottle that was inside. They were her weight-loss pills that I had taken from her on Friday.

Ugh, this walk was already starting to go from peaceful to annoying. I was supposed to be trying to STOP thinking about Friday. I guess it couldn't be helped, though.

Why was Rhonda going to such an extreme to lose weight. There wasn't even anything TO lose. She was already crazy thin in my opinion.

**Weeeee!**

I almost had a heart attack as a squealing flash of pink zoomed out from in front of me. "The hell ..? That sounded like a pi-" That's 'cause it was a pig. Crap. I looked up and saw the familiar red boarding house. I didn't realize that I was walking down the path to where he lived. I guess I'd done it so much before that it was just subconscious. Oops. I gathered my bearings and was about to leave, but a voice spoke out to me. "Hey Helga. What are you doing here?"

I turned my head and saw his football head leaning cautiously out the window. Crud. Why universe? Why?

"I was walking Football Head. I'm allowed to do that ya know."

"Yeah, I know, but why did you stop in front of my place? You were staring at my door for like, a whole minute. Was there something you needed?" Was I really?

"Yeah, well, It's a free country Arnold-o! I'm allowed to look at people's doors whenever I want! And I'm done looking at yours, so, I'll just be on my way now."

"Helga wait. Are you okay? You've been acting really strange lately." Did he just ask if I was okay ... did he really care that much? Maybe he was genuinely worried about me?

"I'm fine ARnold."

"Are you sure? I've noticed that you haven't been going to lunch for a while now. Also, you seem moody. Sometimes you seem kinda happy, but other times you look especially aggravated. Plus, you were acting really weird on Friday; with the whole us and Rhonda whatever."

He- he really noticed all that? I - no. This can't be happening. I'm supposed to be giving up on you Arnold! Don't pull me back in like this! What with your kind words and noticing everything that I thought no one would notice. I'm so close to completely falling captive to your heart once again!

"I, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine. Same old Helga as usual. Nothing off about it."

"Whatever you say, Helga." He ducked his head back inside, after shrugging his shoulders, and shut the window. And I continued on my way.

That was TOO close. I almost fell back. He almost had me reeled in, but the worm broke off just in time.

I made my way up a couple blocks; my head still in a daze. I saw one of my favorite places off in the distance and urged myself towards it. The Candy Shop.

When I got there, the smell of artificial strawberries and dark chocolate filled me with a bit of happiness. I'd been here plenty of times before, and everything tastes as great as it smells. I was thinking I would probably get some dark chocolate almond bars, bubble gum, carmals, and taffies. Of course, I didn't have any money on me, but I knew this place well enough to know how to sneak off with some goods. You just have to act like you're browsing around, and when no one's looking, pop a few in your pockets. It looks suspicious as heck to leave without buying anything, but as long as they don't got proof ya stole any, they'll let you get away with it.

I strolled around the crates of candies, and when I found one of the things that I wanted, I glanced at the counter. Good. She was reading some dumb newspaper. I grabbed a nice big handful of taffy. I executed the same action towards every one of the candies I wanted. When I left, I could see the suspicion all over her face. She knew I stole a butt-load.

I walked on out and figured I should head on back home. Bob's arm wrestltng match would be starting soon. I probably shouldn't miss something so ' important.' As I headed back, I started eating away at the chocolate like a starved rat. A thought popped into head.

I could maybe take one of those weight loss pills to get me by until tonight. It probably didn't really actually do anything, but I'm guessing there was a placebo effect with it. I figure, if I take it with the candy, it'll equal out and I won't get any weight loss effects. I could maybe do this every time! If I can't get to a smoothie, I'll just take a pill with candy or food or something! Perfect!

A popped a pill into my mouth and immediately followed with chocolate.

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><p>Sorry for the short chapter.<p> 


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